Tony Allen: And Finally... Have a nice day!

Jul 07 | 2021

Do you ever have one of those days when, from the moment you wake up, you just know it’s going to be a bad one when nobody is going to like you and everything is going to go wrong?

Tony Allen: And finally...It can often begin with something quite innocuous, such as finding that the toothpaste has run out and that there’s no spare in the cupboard under the sink – and then to be told that it’s never been kept in the cupboard under the sink and … oh dear, I know that it’s going to be one of those days!

Of course I know that there’s an element of self-fulfilling prophecy in this but it really does happen from time to time. Like waking up in the morning and bouncing down stairs – not literally - in an attempt to lighten ones day, only to find that the cat has lightened his own day by unaccountably deciding to use the kitchen as a latrine – I say unaccountably, but, in fact, I’d actually left the litter tray outside in the garden by mistake. I was left with the hope that the badgers hadn’t noticed.

“I was going to leave it until after breakfast to tell you,” says Mrs A “but now I’ve an idea that you won’t be relishing breakfast, so I think that now is the moment to tell you that the washing machine has finally expired and it looks like we’ll need a new one.”

“Blimey that’s a blow. They’re really so expensive; what’s wrong with a river bank and two large stones?” No, actually I didn’t say that, but that’s the way my mind works I’m afraid.

What I actually said was, “The moment I got up I knew it was going to be one of those days!” So far so bad. Those washing machine manufacturers must really be cleaning up.

Does this sort of thing ever happen to you? Hopefully not very often, but when it does you know that you are going to be in trouble for the rest of the day. Colleagues become unsympathetic; waiters seem to ignore you; the lady behind the bar seems to serve everybody else even though you were there first and you’ve got two potential customers waiting an eternity for their drinks when you are trying to demonstrate to them how efficient you are.

I almost dare not mention anything to do with the motorcar. We have in this connection a veritable source of disaster. A friend of mine on such a day drove his rather handsome and shiny new saloon car to the garage to fill it up with shiny new petrol; and then calmly stood there whilst he watched himself filling it up with shiny new diesel! Being a mover I suppose he was much more used to using the diesel pump, but unfortunately the result of his error was the loss of a substantial amount of his financial reserves. ”I knew it was going to be one of those days,” was his doleful response to this episode – and of course, he was absolutely correct.

‘Anything that can go wrong, will’ is commonly known as Murphy’s Law. I should add that it’s not a very popular law; I can remember my Father expressing how much he hated Murphy’s Law if something went wrong in his life. I was going to mention Cole’s Law but I guess that you all know that it’s a dish made with finely shredded cabbage.

How about when you arrive at the office? It is amazing how everything seems to go wrong on the same day. People don’t turn up, vehicles break down, the coffee machine stops working and we pick up a bad debt. Not only is it one of those days, but it’s beginning to feel like one of those weeks!

I’m afraid there is no solution, it’s an effect of nature. An occasional bad day is as inevitable as the ebbing tide. If you wake up and sense that the next 24 hours are not going to be good then you might in fact decide that the best bet is to stay in bed in the hope that the house doesn’t collapse around you in a cloud of pessimism.

But let’s be serious about this (I’ll try). Things will always go wrong in our lives and that’s maybe how we recognise the things that go right. So when we have an ominous premonition about the type of day to expect, maybe we should just take it on the chin, make the best of it and smile. After all when it’s over, the only thing we have to face is tomorrow and as we all know: that’s just another day!