Now I know we live in a complicated world. As every year goes by, it seems to me, as a gentleman of advancing years, that everything I try to do becomes more difficult.
Running 10 miles before breakfast is a pastime that I have now consigned to personal history. Frankly, getting off the sofa is sometimes a bit of a challenge.
And when it comes to technology, I know I am something of a dinosaur. I console myself with the thought that this is the way it should be. If old people could do all the things that young ones do, there wouldn’t be much point in being young … discuss!
However, leaving my physical deterioration and technological frustration to one side, there is another element of modern life that has been winding me up for many years. In fact I remember, 20+ years ago, threatening to start my own protest group called CANON which, I thought, with a little manipulation, would be the acronym for The Campaign Against Nonsense. Quite good, don’t you think.
Well, needless to say, it never flew. Not because it wasn’t worthy, but because life got in the way and I had to focus on fighting my way through the mire of incomprehensible foolishness that we call modern life, rather than curing it. Shame really. I had visions of myself being interviewed by Nick Robinson on Radio 4 as I tackled my most pressing pile of claptrap. Sadly Nick, that will have to wait a little longer.
But the other day, I had yet another wonderful example of 21st century twaddle which would have certainly opened a new file in the CANON office. For this, I must thank Barclays Bank. Allow me to explain (at this point I suggest you make a cup of coffee and get comfy).
You see, Barclays provide my wife and I with travel insurance for a modest fee each month. As neither of us have completely clear health records (who does?), the fact that the policy provides cover for existing conditions, is a great advantage. Because I once walked past a cardiac ward in our local hospital it’s virtually impossible to get cover elsewhere unless I am prepared to hand over a king’s ransom. And getting cover for business travel, well, there’s another kettle of fish. Maybe that’s a tale for your second cup of coffee.
But, the other day I received a letter. My wife got one too. Both from Barclays. As we have been married for 33 years, and live in the same house, they might have worked out that one envelope might be sufficient – but I digress. The letters explained that they would no longer be able to cover existing conditions unless they had been specifically reported to them and, if necessary, an additional premium paid to reflect the real risk. I was a little grumpy about it, but I guess it was only a matter of time.
Then the letter explained that they had appointed my wife, not me, as the policy holder, rather than us holding the cover jointly. This means that they would only speak to her, not me, in any correspondence. As the new regulation does not kick in until 25 January, I called them to expose the flaw in their new system.
Speaking to a very polite and helpful gentleman, who sounded like he was from Calcutta but said his name was John, I explained that, under this new system, my wife would have to call to explain my medical conditions, of which she clearly knows less than me. Would it not be better for me to have that conversation?
That was, apparently out of the question. John had a solution though. He could transfer the policy into my name. Brilliant! Now I must call them to explain my wife’s medical conditions, of which I know even less.
I had a solution. How about we both explain what’s what now, before the new rules come in, then they can be certain of getting the right information. Simple! Oh no. They could not accept any communication on the subject until the new rules applied.
As you know, I travel a bit. My health insurance is important to me. Is it not ironic, that a career of over 50 years might just be curtailed because the boffins at a bank can’t recognise folly when it’s looming large and blowing raspberries at them?
CANON, we are back in business my friend.